My birthday is in a week. I want to be happy and excited. I really do BUT I find myself thinking about everything I don’t have simply because I don’t feel like I have much.
Thank God for the essentials. All my needs are met. I’m so blessed && grateful.
But financially && emotionally I’m a wreck. Trying to be positive and fighting depression daily.
It’s gotten to the point ALL of my friends have kids. We used to be able to just live and kick it now our ability to hang out is governed by sitters and sickness.
I do not want to have children outside of wedlock but I don’t think I want to get married. I kinda feel like my mom is throwing a bit of pressure on it.
I just want some stability. Heck I just got a boyfriend && what an experience this has been.
He’s an assistant football coach at a NCAA school, talk about busy. I want him to excel at his job which he’s been doing but I don’t want to lose our relationship and ourselves in the process
BUT this is what I wanted. I want him && I knew it wasn’t gonna be ideal. When we’re together there is no place I’d rather be but I hate to question is it even worth it?
School starts in a month. If I haven’t received a full time gig, I’ll have three part times. One of which includes teaching at a local college. I mean I’d rather a full time gig but I have things that have to be sorted out I guess.
On top of the fact that I hate my hair…
Just my Monday thoughts.